I want to be an artist

As I was walking with my 5-year-old daughter Micaela last night, I asked her:

“Do you still want to be an artist?”

She responded:

“I want to be an artist, a songwriter, a painter, and an art teacher.”

I want her to make good on that dream.

That’s why I’m here. 

I’ve spent the last 28 days doing the hard work of writing everyday.

The scariest thing I wrote was a letter to Micaela.

I knew I was doing something right because the morning after I posted it online, I wanted to take it down. I was scared of what I said. Scared of what I committed to doing.

Scared because it felt like the stakes were higher.

The motto of the workshop I’m just finishing is:

“Do the Hard Work First | Embrace Emotional Labor | Dance with Fear”

I didn’t understand this third part “Dance with Fear” until the feeling I got as I woke up on Sunday morning. The feeling of wanting to quickly revise and take down the letter. The feeling of uncertainty. Is that really who I am? Is that what I want?

What am I for?

Why?

Those are the questions I want to wrestle with here.

The clearer I get, the more I believe I’ll be able to make my art.

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